Laying my cards out on the table

The first step in any journey is being honest with the situation and I'm ready to be honest and put my cards out on the table; here it goes....

• I have borrowed money from each and every friend I know and my mother. I currently have several personal loans out--4 to be exact; in addition I have 3 payday advance loans (figures to follow in a separate post).
• I make $52,000 annually in the Bay Area where my salary does not compliment the cost of living.  I live in a modest apt (a studio, with my child) and my expenses are over my annual income.
• I have quite a bit of debt that I have incurred over the past years (post divorce).
• In addition to my debt, I have a few moving violations as well as other tickets including parking.
• No credit card/bad credit.

How I got into this mess....

Excuses/Highlights of the issues that I have gone through and deal with

1. I was married for over 8 years; I got divorced because my ex husband had addiction issues that I could not deal with.  At the same time we had a small child with special needs and I wasn't working (got laid off from a great paying job due to the economy)
2. I divorced thinking my ex would assist me with child support and spousal support.  At the time of our divorce our child was severely delayed and I was driving him to a dozen therapy appointments a week and could not work
3. My ex got fired leaving me with no money, no support and he did not offer to watch our son or want to.  This isn't about throwing him under the bus, just the facts
4. I had to work hard to find miscellaneous jobs that gave me the flexibility to chauffeur my child to all his therapies.  These jobs were very low paying
5. When my child got school age; I was able to look for a full-time job.  I could not find a full-time job and when I did they offered a very low pay.  That is where I am now, I have a full-time job as an analyst and I'm making what I made in my 20s for a lower rent
6. After divorce, my son and I lived in a wonderful 2 bedroom/2 bath for 4 years but had to give that up because the rent kept going up and up and couldn't afford $2100...now I am paying $1300 for a studio~ette! Not even a full studio
7. I have to be honest and say in the past, I have spent money that I shouldn't have on dinners/drinks out with the ladies because I do love to socialize. I felt like that was my only outlet in such a stressful time, but that is few and far between and not really happening now in the past 6 months.  I am trying to save every dollar and really be more conscience about my spending

Lessons

• Never rely on your partner..not being negative, but things do happen so it's best to rely on yourself and yes, I always knew this lesson but I let it slide because I enjoyed being a housewife and trusted my partner
• Have as many skills as you can to outshine your opponents in this job war (I have 2 degrees mind you! so not sure why I can't find a full-time job paying what I am worth...but I intend to)
• Network!!! Having a healthy network and staying in touch with people can only help you. That is the reason for how I managed to get by
• Do more conscience spending...I'm trying to ask, do I need it or want it...and I need to do better with deals, sales and coupons!

Updates

My son's father now gives me $300 a month; although he can earn more than 6 figures but chooses not to for whatever his reasons.  I did apply and qualify for a secured credit card.  I am in the process of searching for another higher paying job.  I want to move my son and I out of this studio!

This blog will serve as a journey and tracking device to get my premium assets!